Love her.

late.

So its 2:34 in the morning, and I keep tossing and turning. I figured I might as well write another blog since I've been incognito for some time now. Well, lately I've been stressing so much about school. I broke down a couple of times, and I'm breaking out. seriously though, I have to get back on track. Well tomorrow at 12 30 I present my Global Portfolio and I'm not good at presentations because my nerves get the better of me. I cry. Cry, cry and cry, and I have to control myself. The thing I've figured out about myself is that I have my self-confidence level is a big fat 0. and i guess thats where the problems come from, I doubt myself toooooo much and I'm over-analytical about everything! and it kills me.
I want to rock this presentations for many reasons, not only to gget a good grade but to prove to myself that I am bigger than my nerves, and that I have some self-confidence. Its an internal battle, and I guess I'm the one making myself go nuts. I have to stop, its not healthy. I have to believe in myself a little more. and then my friends, all will be goodd. I should get so shut eye, and I am aware this blog has many mistakes but idc its late and I needed to vent.

2009.

Happy New Year. I brought in 09 in bed with a magizine and my law and order:svu dvds- not so ideal (however, I don't mind the Law and Order:SVU part). Compared to the family orientated celebration I'm sure you all had. I brought in this new year with bad news, paranoia, and buckets and buckets of worries. I am absoutely sick of how everyone continues saying "New year, New Me" and " This year I'm going to be different" blah blah blah blah its all shtick. Thats what it is. SHTICK! You all know your going to be the same person you where yesterday. Or last year. I applaud you hopefuls to want to change, and be a better person. But what I want to see is someone actually stick to their new years resolution and actually change.